I have yet to figure out why I am here....the Japanese are also confused. Keep Your Socks Clean: A time of departure

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

A time of departure

So the time I've been preparing for, for the past several years, has finally come. In three and a half hours, I'll have to wake up (if I ever get to sleep that is) and head towards the airport to board an early flight. With the exception of a layover in Detroit, I'll be on my way to Japan for the first time to start my year of study and cultural immersion.

Total travel time: approximately 26 hours.

The cold hard fact that I'm going somewhere that will force me to forsake many of the things I take for granted in my life; family, friends, pets, basic communication skills.... its all finally starting to hit me. And I honestly can't think of a worse time then four hours before I leave.

The simple fact of it all is that I do not know what I'm getting into. It is for that reason that I've been planning this trip... so that I can learn about Japan and the language. But riding on my mind the whole time is that I'm taking a huge step forward in this goal. Going all the way across the world for a year is not what I would call appropriate baby steps when the most international experience I've had in my life before this point was a day trip into a Mexican border town.

Even more unnerving is that people continuously ask me why I'm studying Japan. Everyone else being asked this question, that I've witnessed, seems to have a well thought-out answer that goes along with their well thought-out plans. Me on the other hand....I'm armed with nothing more then an interest for the culture along with the desire to see the world. Is that enough to sustain me for the next year of my life? I have no clue honestly. For all I know I could hate Japan (don't get me wrong, I don't expect that at all though).

All in all though, I'm just venting some fears. I have no strong ties with my destination, and knowing that does nothing but stir more apprehension within me. My general shyness and how I avoid most confrontation in life also amplifies these fears. I like to think myself as quaint in numerous of ways, generally keeping to myself in most times. I have a select group of friends, and it usually takes me time to warm up to new people. Now to be thrown into the living environment of new families and new cultures... I have no choice but to become more socially open and to not only befriend them, but to trust them utterly in countless aspects of everyday life as I adjust to the culture. And that scares the hell outa me.

But whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger... I hope? As long as there are no snakes on the plane, I think I'll manage. I should be able to post again within the next 2 days if all things go well. If things go worse then expected, you can probably either find me lost in Kansai airport, lost in the Detroit Airport, swimming with the fishes in the Pacific ocean, or cowering in the restroom cause I chickened out on this trip. In any circumstance, send help?

Real quick though before I crash for a few hours. I want to give a shout out to the people that have made this opportunity available to me. Granted I'm plagued by doubts currently, but this is still my life dream and I wouldn't have gotten this far without help from numerous people.

First I want to give props to Japan for being... Japan. I'll be bringing the country a souvenir. I'll use my gaijin super-lucky-powers or whatnot to make sure that the new baby in the royal family (expected today) will be male so that a successful heir will finally come around. Personally I got no preference on a male or female heir, but it seems that it would make countless people happy for a boy to be born so that there will be a new emperor, so I'll go for that one.

Foremost though, I want to thank my family for pushing me along and giving me the support for the trip in every way possible. Following them, I also want to express my gratitude to my Japanese teacher and tutors. These people have spent hours dealing with me and my stubborn ways. That's no simple task by any means.

You all know who you are, and know your work has not gone unappreciated.

Later guys, I'm going to Japan.

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