Keep Your Socks Clean

Time ages things.

2008-06-11T20:18:00.000-05:00

Time came and went. Events occurred. Short story made shorter, this blog is dead and I'm continuing on a more personal connection with my friends on another site.

A Worthy Adversary

2007-01-29T09:01:00.000-06:00

There was a greater force set out against me. I could feel its raging desire to destroy my pride and every ounce of self-worth that I hold to my name. But tonight was to be special. I could feel it within my very essence. Tonight, history would be made.

After greeting each other upon meeting at our headquarters (Mister Donuts Restraunt in Takarazuka City), we prepared ourselves for a night of adventure. The journey started first with a trip to the Izakaiya, where too much Nihonshu was consumed. This was the first step of fate trying to strip me of what was rightfully mine, as I could sense motor skills gradually deteriorating. After our feast was finished, which consisted of much karage (think Japanese chicken-nuggets) falling victim to my chopsticks, we trekked across the street to our usual battlegrounds of Round 1... Japan's mega-chain arcade and gaming center.

It is here that me and my friends have fallen many times before to the defeat of the powerful UFO games.

Time and time again we have struggled against our opponent, endlessly popping in 100 yen coins (roughly a dollar) in an attempt to gain meager rewards. The prize in question this time? Candy. The bane of the hungry Gaijin. Yes, any one of us could have walked down the street and gained, without much trouble mind you, candy of a higher caliber, and undoubtedly at a fraction of the cost. But that is not good enough. We wanted THIS candy... and nothing in the world, except us running out of money, would stop us. Many times, my friends and I have waged war against this one machine, only to see defeat rear its ugly head. But tonight was going to be different, it was destiny.

I must remind you though, there was a great power at work here, a power that none of us understood. It is this power that I blame for gracing me with the generosity to donate a couple coins to one of my friends to play a different game with me. It was at this time, right before our journey home, that I decided to try once more at our ancient foe. It was also at this time that I stuck my hands in my pockets and saw that, subtracting train ticket cost, I was... not graced with wealth. Damn you generosity. This is your work at fault. Feeling the inner pains of being bested by my foe once again, and letting my friends down, as they were wishing for someone to draw them out of the depths of despair, we headed to the lockers to gather our belongings.

Then, as I inserted the key to open my clothes stash... like a shining beacon in the night, a 100 yen coin rolls out of the machine as it refunded my deposit. My eyes locked on to the coin, the possibilities of redemption lighting up within me. My eyes even stayed locked on the coin as it fell out of the locker's grasp down to the floor. Never leaving it for a second, my eyes traced its path as it quickly hit the ground and rolled away, ducking beneath a nearby arcade.

Once again, the greater force was against me. doing everything it could to prevent me from getting that coin. The speed of which the coin was travelling was near supernatural, and I knew that the chances of recovery were slim at most. But one glance upon the faces of my friends, and the hopes that I could see within their eyes, drove me to the ground. Let no embarrassment brook my path as I sent my hand spelunking underneath the arcade that claimed my coin of salvation. No Japanese person questioning why a Gaijin was crawling around on the floor beneath them would be listened too. No floor, tainted with the grudge of ages of never seeing the light within a poorly ventilated area, would forbid me from seeking my treasure.

I credit sheer determination in my conquest that eventually provided me with the fruits of my labor... the lost coin of salvation. It was then that I took this coin and presented it to our foe. Dropping it inside the coin slot was nothing short of a battle cry from me and my friends as the buttons on the UFO game lit up, signaling the start of my challenge.

I could feel it working against me. My sight was upon the plastic bucket full of chocolate... the same plastic bucket with the same chocolate I have been pursuing for months... but whatever it was against me, whatever creature was guiding my fate... I could not let it thwart me now.

The button was pressed. With antagonizing slowness, the crane jerked to life and began to drift.

When the crane's horizontal journey came to a stop, so did the breathe of my friends and I. The crane drifted back, torturing me mentally as it plodded along before creeping to a stop as I released the button.

It was the moment of destiny.

As the crane began its final descent, it was like the descent of angels from the sky. Never a more perfect strike has been made within the history of man-kind as my chocolaty prize was securely grasped. A blast of trumpets could be heard echoing throughout the world, heralding my victory as my prize rose from its grave of gravity to be dropped over a hatch awaiting my grasp. It was a beautiful sight that slowed time itself as it dropped from the clutches of the enemy to the waiting opening to be gathered by the rightful owners.

I did it. I overcame fate trying to stop me in every way possible from allowing me the one chance I desired to defeat the infamous UFO game. Never again will we shy away from the fluorescent stare of our rival as we cross its pass again. We will always proudly declare our victory over it to the new-comers to our gatherings, so they may spread the word of our legendary battle in pursuit of a greater candy. After months of trying, and thousands upon thousands of yen that will undoubtedly be pocketed by some rich Japanese salary man... "I" am victorious. For my valiant actions against the UFO's soulless ones, my friends bestowed upon me the title of "Eien no Eiyuu"... or "Eternity's Hero."

Now if you excuse me, I must go wash my hands from the filth of victory before I taste the rancid bitterness of my aged confection.

Long Time No See

2006-12-19T07:31:00.000-06:00

It has been a fair while since I've gotton a word in. I blame many things for my absence; illness, laziness, and my sister visiting are the top three.

I can't think of any specific stories to throw out today (I'm sorry, think I'm staying here to long as things are starting to appear normal to me and not worth writing about), but instead will leave you with a selection of comments and quirks I've noticed lately.

-- America is a Technological God Compared to You

As I said before, my sister visited me for a week. I must say she is the most gullible person on the face of the planet when it comes to anything that deals outside of her daily routine.

As we are riding the bus back from the airport, and surrounded by skyscrapers and all the other signs of a modern city... we happen across this conversation.

Sister: "I just want to get a bath and go to bed, I'm tired after the plane ride."
Me: "You know their bath is outside right?"
Sister: "Really?"
Me: "Ya, its out back in front of where we park the car. It's a little embarrassing when someone parks while your taking a bath at night and you get the headlights on you."
Sister: "They can SEE you???"
Me: "Well there's a couple boards, planks really, that you can kinda position around to try to block off the view as best as you can."
Sister: "Are you lying?"
Me: "'Fraid not, just one of the things with living in such a culture like this. Also, watch out for the neighbors dog, he likes to try to jump in sometimes while your in there."

When she finally arrived at the house and saw how they have such amazing marvals as running water and electricity, I kindly reminded her to watch out for the dog as she entered the bathroom.

-- Japanese Haven't Developed Language Skills Yet

Again with my sister. She doesn't know a word of Japanese (besides Kancho, and that's one for you to google if you don't know what it is). This leads me to translating everything for her... and also leaves her to be the victim of all my opinions. Okaasan wanted to know a bit more about us growing up, so I went off onto a tangent about how she is incredibly spoiled and gets everything she wants.... you know, what every girl that is the baby of a family gets but will eternally deny. Of course I told my sister what I said when she asked, since she was wondering why I was pointing and referring to her alot.

The next day she expressed to me her opinion on how she didn't like me talking bad about her to my host family. I had to chuckle and just tell her that I was being sarcastic and that she doesn't need to worry at all about it. That's when she struck me with this one,

"They don't have sarcasm!"

Ok, if she tried to say understand sarcasm, I would have taken the meaning to be more of they don't understand my sarcasm... but after just blankly staring at her for second, I could tell she flat out believed that Japanese did not understand sarcasm at all.

So I'm guessing America invented sarcasm now, I'm taking credit for the home team with this one.

-- Mystery of the Toilet Seat

Japan is cold. And I'm talking like, I've thought bout skinning the neighbors cat to make mittens kinda cold. Reasoning behind this isn't necessarily the temperature. Kansai area, where I'm at, ain't that much worse then southern United States. It's the fact that almost no one here has central heating nor insulates there house. There have been times where I've been shivering so bad I could barely use my keyboard to type.

Japanese families usually crank on a space heater in one or two rooms of the house though to try to prevent themselves from dying or something. In a way, it creates the whole "family bonding" kinda atmosphere because if your not in that one room with the heater then your off getting frostbite.

So, combining the fact that your freezing unless in that one room, and the normal stereotype (and there is some truth behind this stereotype) that Japanese generally hate wasting time, I quite perplexed on one little detail.

You go into the bathroom, which usually has the window cracked resulting in what little insulation the drywall walls provide being replaced with frigid night air, and instantly dread the thought of dropping any kind of clothes to take care of your business. But their is one savior in the night, the self-heated toilet seat (also named the ShowerMaster 2000, no joke). I don't know how it knows to heat itself, or why its always ready at the time of use, but sure enough, its always there to keep your cheeks nice and warm even if you can't feel the rest of your body cause of the cold numbing it.

The reason I'm so complexed with this toilet seat is that it just seems totally contrary to what one would think follows the other norms in Japan. The angelic warmth of the seat only seems to prompt you to stay longer, wasting time in the bathroom which, as I imagine, would be disliked by others for various reasons. If your not rush rush with everything you do, then you just obviously need to work on doing things better.

The only conclusion I can come out with this topic is that when Japanese people gotta go, they like to go in style. I've seen many things to support my hypothesis... toilets with remotes with dozens of buttons I'll never understand (nor am brave enough to test), singing toilets, and pretty much every other disturbingly creepy thing you can think of strapping onto a crapper and selling it for money. But in all actuality though, I think this is one of those quirky details that will permanently be lost to the other cultures of the world.

Alone in a Crowd

2006-11-12T03:36:00.002-06:00

It's yet another perfect day in Japan and I find myself in the midst of hundreds of Japanese people in a park not far from my house. The occasion was one of the many sports festivals that Kazuki, my host-family little brother, finds himself involved in.

With a rough estimate of about 500 people there, things where really getting busy with all the games for the little kids they had going on... seeing as how this event was organized for young children of about ages of 8-13. I was being dragged around by Kazuki to all the different games they had going on, one of which was basically Russian Roulette that would pop a balloon in the gun when you where the unlucky gunman. I can honestly say that was the first time that shooting yourself in the head turned into a family activity. All in all, it wasn't such a bad time.

In one side of the park they had rigged up a massive stage for the announcers and a few local acts to entertain the people. One thing about different about Japan that you have to realize when compared to western society is that they really like their parks. The entire thing was rigged with a stereo system and loud speakers so that people in the entire quarter mile diameter area could easily hear what was being broadcasted.

After a few basic greetings and the normal dull political jabberings that school board leaders and the such like to dish out every time there is an audience around, the events started. With this particular festival, the local kids dance team was invited to perform.

The stage was stormed by little kids, ages probably 10-13, who all got in a dance stance to wait for the music. What happened next was probably one of the most disturbingly awesome things I've seen to date in this country.

From my personal experience of having a little sister... I tend to notice that kids around that age seem to like to watch alot of MTV to pick up on fashions and music. In Japan, this is especially true... in fact just about everything they know about the west is from stereotyped TV. The problem with that is, they just don't know exactly what they are watching half the time. Need proof? Heres a bit of the lyrics from the song they where dancing too.

You don't wanna party then your ass gotta go
Now you can ride to this motherf***r (uh)
Bounce to this motherf***r (uh)
Freak to this motherf***r (let's get it on)
...
Once again it's the darker nigga
Here to spark a nigga, break apart a nigga
But the dog is bigger, under stress
So unless you're wanting to bless to the chest
These slugs from his Smith and Wess REST!
Or the pump'll put a hurt on a nigga
DUMP SIX, motherf***r feed em dirt on a nigga
My hands stay dirty, cause I play dirty the mob way
You don't know? f**k it find out the hard way

Song - "Get it on the Floor" by DMX

Only in Japan can you see a bunch of little kids amatuer hip-hop dance to extremely offensive and racially incorrect music... followed up by hundreds of parents giving little golf-claps of appreciation while talking about how talented the kids on stage are because not a one of them in the entire park understood the lyrics.

God I love this country.

I'll leave yall with cut of the next song they performed too.

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk,
all that junk inside that trunk.

I'ma get get get get you drunk,
get you love drunk off my hump.

Whatcha gonna do with all that ass,
all that ass inside your jeans.

I'ma make make make make you scream,
make you scream make you scream.

Coz of my humps, my hump, my hump my hump
my hump, my hump my hump, my lovely lady lumps.

Song: "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas

American Balls

2006-11-05T20:52:00.000-06:00

(Italics means in Japanese)

"Hi... hey, hi."
This was coming from a random Japanese guy that started walking backwards in front of me as I walked down the aisles of my school festival. I was a little hesitant because I didn't think I knew the guy, but its sometimes so hard for me to remember faces in this country.

Me: "Um, hi?"

RJP (Random Japanese Person): "How are you?"

Me: "Ok..."

RJP: "Do you want to try my food?"

Me: "Ah... uh, no thanks."

See, here's how things go. In Japan, its very common for people to hawk their stuff at you. Standing in doorways yelling at you to come eat at their place, or just bellowing out for all to know what they are selling. This is no different at school festivals where club members turn into shop keepers for little booths that line the streets of the school. This guy, however, decided to take a more direct approach with the matter of street-side selling, kicking in with his Japanese High School English. Cause as everyone knows... if I'm not Japanese then I must be able to speak English, right?

RJP: "Please? They are super popular in America."

Me: "Really?"

RJP: "Ya, they are American Balls!."

At this point, I was floored. This isn't something one normally hears while walking down the street, especially in Japan. I took a look where the guy was pointing and, sure enough, there was a huge sign featuring bright colors, glitter, and, in the middle, huge katakana letters spelling out American Balls. It was obvious that some girls from whatever club this guy was supporting had spent alot of time decorating this potentially offensive sign.

Me: "Wha... what?"

RJP: "Ya, they are really popular in America, please buy them!"

Me: "But... after I go to the event.

RJP: "Please 100 yen each!" ($1)

Me: "Later..."

Besides the obvious mistaken innuendo behind "American Balls," I really wasn't surprised to have some random Japanese guy come up to me and start speaking English. In fact, it happens way to much for my liking. The day of the school festival was pretty bad in particular... as all these guys selling stuff think that if they say a handful of basic English words at me, that I'll instantly be persuaded to come to them because I don't have to worry about the horrors of trying to speak Japanese at a different shop.

When I got to Japan, I really wasn't insulted much by bits of English here and there, but its gotton to the point now that I just want to ignore them if they do. I'm here to learn Japanese, and I already do know some Japanese... but I can't prove this unless they speak to me in Japanese. If I wanted to have baby-English talked to me all the time, I woulda just taken a job at a pre-school or something in the states, not fly across the world and blowing my life savings in the process.

There's a few exceptions to all this. If its obvious I don't know a certain vocabulary that someone used when speaking Japanese, or they are asking for information from me, English is totally fine. But when I don't even have a chance to enter into a normal discussion because I'm seen as the outcast that doesn't understand anything from the start... then I get a little perturbed.

For example...
My host-mother (here by referred to as Okaasan), loves to show off her new American. Whenever we get a chance, she will tell everyone every embarrassing detail about me that she knows. Parties usually evolve this activity for an hour at least. When walking around shops and places where their are alot of people, Okaasan will also use as much English as she can when talking to me (which is only about a couple dozen words) to show off to those around her and seem "international."

Last week the host family and I went out for dinner. We sit down at the bar with the cooks right in front of us and Okaasan instantly starts in her English routine, which is usually so bad that I would have understood it alot earlier if she had just used Japanese."

Okaasan: "What... do you want.... to... eat?"

Me: "What?"

Okaasan: "What, food?"

Me: "Ah....what food is here." With me pointing at the Kanji menu that I couldn't read.

With that, the chef steps in, but the damage had already been done. Oblivious to any Japanese I had used, and registering only the English Okaasan was using, he takes it upon himself to introduce the menu.

Chef: "Jah - pa - neese Pan - ke- ki!" (Japanese Pancake)

At this point I just wanted to bash my head against the bar. I knew damned well that there is no "Japanese Pancake" restaurants in Japan. Here I am, trying to find out what food they are serving, and all I can get out of the staff is "Japanese Pancake." The word I was looking for was Okonomiyaki (click for picture) by the way.

Coincidently, this was also at the first time that I found out I knew enough Japanese to let someone know that I'm not particularly happy with them as I kinda set into Okaasan at that point.

Me: "Okaasan... this is Japan. You are Japanese, you speak Japanese. If I wanted to speak English, I can live in America. Now, everyone thinks I only speak English. Now what is the food called?"

I was honestly quite impressed with my ability to convey how I felt to her at the time. I don't think she spoke another word of English to the the whole night. I didn't say anything in a manner that was inappropriate, just was clearing up some things.

But honestly, I should have known in the long run I couldn't win this game. Its just not on home turf you know. Cause now to get back at me she ask me questions in Japanese that she knows I'll not understand when we are in a group of people. The only way I got to combat her is a keen sense of knowing if I should say yes or no, and a great performance act making it seem like I understood everything. But its really a war I'm bound to eventually loose due to collateral damage.

I did get one bit of payback upon Japanese society though. As I was putting my shoes on to leave a Yakiniku restaurant (and honestly, the fact that my family takes me to Yakiniku makes everything worth it), the waiter comes up to me and starts the usual routine.

Waiter: "Hi!"

Me: "Hi..."

Waiter: "Where are you from?"

Me: "Texas."

Waiter: "Ah, I've been to New York."

At this point I was trying to leave the restaurant but the guy was following me. So I kinda ended it unintentionally in a way I couldn't have been happier with. In an utterance that I swear sounded as if I I've been speaking Japanese since the day I was born, I told him, "Ah...I've never gone there."

The waiter was so dumbstruck by me speaking in Japanese that he just kinda stared at me for a second before giving a small wave and walking away. It really made my day, even if it made my jerk-factor alot higher.

On my behalf, I have to say I'm most always polite, even though I find it kinda annoying that Japanese people don't even try to speak Japanese to me most of the time. It's just my personal mission now to make Japanese people understand that foreigners aren't in Japan just to practice your English on. I swear one day I'm gonna tell one of them, "I'm Russian and don't know English, in fact I hate those American-Dogs and English makes me very angry!" (Proceed to destroy Japan)

God, I love this country.

2006-10-25T06:58:00.001-05:00

I posted this on my stupid links section (to the right), but I wanted to cast even more attention to it. This story has GOT to be read. And honestly, I don't find it even that unusual after living here... but man I woulda given my left kidney to see this.

A man, his turtle, and the police officer.

An elderly man seen pulling a turtle by a string along a street here bit a policeman responding to an alert Friday evening, leaving the officer with slight injuries, police said.
Tomiyasu Matsuhashi, 70, a carpenter living in Saiwai-ku, Kawasaki, is accused of obstructing the officer from performing his official duties. Police are questioning him also on suspicion of violating the law banning cruelty to animals.
He denied the allegations during questioning. "I never bit the officer," he was quoted as telling investigators.
At about 5:50 p.m. a passer-by spotted Matsuhashi pulling a turtle by a string along a street in the Nisshincho district of Kawasaki-ku, and reported the incident to a nearby police box saying it might constitute animal abuse.
A 26-year-old officer rushed to the scene and questioned Matsuhashi. The old man then kicked the turtle saying, "Turtles never die, even if they are run over by a 1-ton car," investigators said. He then bit the officer, who suffered injuries to his left wrist that are expected to take a week to heal.
Matsuhashi had punched a hole in the turtle's shell and connected it by a piece of string to the collar of his pet dog. (Mainichi)

Having a bad day on top of a rough week

2006-10-25T03:05:00.000-05:00

You know, you just can't win them all really. I first want to apologize for not writing in a while, I've had a rough week with little sleep, and today topped it off (hopefully) with a hell of a day.
But first, a little bit of leading up to that.

The last two days I've tried to recuperate from my lack of sleep from the last week (more on that later when I get into all-night-karaoke experiences) by sleeping a ton. So I get home from classes at 3 PM Monday and just crash. I wake up only for dinner and after that, hit the sack again. Just one problem with this... I woke up at about 10:30 feeling as if I should be doing something. Well I couldn't very well go running around Japan this late because of last trains striking soon and all, so I just sat around doing nothing much until I passed out again at 4 AM.

I had some weird lingering hope that even though I was awake till the wee hours of the morning, that I would be refreshed by time I woke up due to the numerous hours of napping I did before. Ya, lot of good hopeful wishing is. So here I am dragging my half dead body to Tuesday classes... my longest day which last from 8 AM till 7:00. During this time I am one of the lucky people to have my name posted on the study abroad students message board in front of the office. Seems I'm lucky enough to have some problem that the office needs to discuss with me. It had to wait for the next day though (today) as the advisor that wanted to talk to me was in a meeting.

I couldn't even get my train ride home in peace as my sensei from my last class followed me into the train and wanted to chat. Normally this wouldn't be such a bad thing, but this guy is seriously, seriously weird. Whenever he talks (in English) he holds any "U" sound for like 4 seconds. But you know, this doesn't bother me, as I butcher Japanese in every way possible I can understand this. The point that really throws me off is how on the first day of class he told us all about his special study of eunuchs (click here if you need definition) and torture devices in Chinese history. Lets just put it this way... you don't want to see this guy's basement, OK?

I crashed early again that night, at a more reasonable time of 10:30. I figured this was still enough time to get plenty of sleep, feel rejuvenated, and wake up and do my homework and get on with my day. I have really got to quit being so optimistic in my personal plans.

It was about that time that my bad day started. I woke up just late enough to screw myself over. Nothing feels worse to me then to have to run around just after waking up which is exactly what I had to do, grabbing a world record quick shower before diving into my Japanese homework. I don't even get peace of mind while walking/riding (train) to school as I have a text book in front of me the whole time trying to memorize kanji for an upcoming quiz in the next few minutes. Not paying attention while you walk because your face is in a book isn't the best of ideas in Japan either, let me tell you... because cars seem to like to try to pass within a few inches of you on all the super narrow streets. Reading at the same time really kills your reflexes.

So I make it to class, manage to not get killed nor fail my kanji quiz, but then receive my quiz results back from a previous assignment. This is when my day really turned sour. I knew everything on that quiz. The teacher knew that I knew everything on that quiz. Everything was answered in a way that anyone could see that I knew the answers to everything on that quiz. But due to a few spelling errors only, and errors that were only due to having to hurry on a timed assignment, I practically failed the thing. I brought this to attention of the teacher only to have a big argument with her over her grading policy. Its a total punk way to grade something, but trying to argue a point like that with some lady that barely speaks English and me who barely speaks Japanese... you ain't getting nowhere fast. So instead I just remained the typical brat student the rest of the class, using higher level grammar to answer all her example questions then the grammar I was supposed to use. Not really justice but I felt slightly better.

After that ordeal I was up for another. The meeting with the office advisor I told you about? Ya, apparently my host mother had a conversation with some school official and totally blew some stuff out of proportion. Her complaint? I'm not eating vegetables... which is an utterly wrong in every way possible. In Texas, I almost never ate any vegetables. Now, I'm eating various ones everyday ranging from pumpkin to raw cabbage, but obviously its not enough for my host-mother for one reason... I hate onions. My host-mothers problem? She wants to put onions in everything. So for the last month I've been here she's been skimping out on the onions for the family meals, even though I've told her repeatedly that I don't want her to make anything special. Here's how the situation turns out:

If she doesn't put onions in her food, she gripes how she's getting all malnutritioned or something and how her cooking menu is so narrow without them.

If she puts onions in the food she fears that I won't be able to eat it. Now, by Japanese standards, if I don't practically stuff myself at dinner, then I'm not eating enough (these people eat alot) and I'm not healthy... and it is her fault I'm not healthy and she thinks I'm gonna starve to death if I skimp a little on one meal, and that I'm gonna hate her for letting me go hungry even though I've promised her up and down ten times I'm not hungry... and, well, get the idea yet?

Either way, its a lose - lose situation for me which landed me in the school office having a discussion about how compatible I am with my host family. I think I passed it off as my host-mom just worries endlessly about it and things are really fine. I've never really been hungry since I got to this country, cause as I said, these people eat alot, and they eat often.

I did get a good chuckle though when they (the school advisors) asked me if there was any other problems with her worrying, as in she's nagging me too much about certain details and telling me what to do all the time. The thing I found funny was when I explained that when I stay in my family house in Texas, I can't usually get away from my parents telling me nonstop to do every little thing like brush my teeth, take a shower, go to bed, and on and on. Not that I need too, just they never broke the habit from when I was little... or went to highschool... or went to college and moved out. So, with explaining why my days seem "nag-less" now, they also had a good chuckle (from disbelief mainly, and my parents don't believe they do it either).

The rest of the school day passed pretty uneventful until I got home. There I had one more surprise for me. My host-father decided to spend his day breaking the computer for the third time now. This time he really messed it up too, as in Windows XP was gone. So I spent the next hour or so sitting in front of his computer trying to install a Japanese version of Windows which I really can't read at all. Not how I wanted to spend my afternoon at all.

As soon as I figured I was done though he had one more small request. He wanted to put in a hard-drive into his computer he had bought. I thought this would be no problem honestly, but everything in Japan is small and efficient. The people, the cars, the streets, the clothes... everything is small, and according to them efficient. This, unfortunately, also implies to computers, as I had to gut the entire machine before I could slide the hard-drive in. Of course, with my luck today, I broke the fan in the process. So now the computer thinks there is no internal fan and shuts down after 2 seconds of being turned on. Another several hours of working on that and I finally got it recognizing the fan again, only to have a nice dinner layered with onions. Eat onions or endlessly be complained too, tough situation.

So now I'm finally on a small break, typing up this here editorial...wondering when the host-family's computer is going to catch fire. And trust me, with the way things have been going, it will.

One good thing that came out of this though is that, presuming the computer continues working and doesn't' catch fire, I'll be getting to go out and eat Yakiniku this weekend. Since I probably saved them a couple hundred dollars worth of computer service and repair work, I think me eating a couple hundred dollars of prime Japanese beef is acceptable right?

Me? Worry?

2006-10-08T22:48:00.000-05:00

So it was only a few minutes ago that the news started being spammed by talk of North Korea again. It seems that they went ahead detonated a nuke besides protest of just about every major country on this side of the world.

"The nuclear test is a historic event that brought happiness to the our military and people," KCNA said. I find this statement very intriguing cause basically proves the government there tells you what makes you happy. I'm pretty sure that food, clean water, and a place to live woulda made alot more people happy then blowing something up.

But enough jabberin' about that. The thing that interest me the most is I have already been asked if I wanted to go back to America because of this new threat. Japanese people have striven over the years to make themselves so peace orientated that they, in my opinion, get shaken up easily.

This is the way I see it... I'm from the U.S. of A. We get threatened every day with bombs and threats by numerous countries. Its almost just a part of life now. Anyone can turn on the TV at any part of the day and go to some news channel and watch people burning the U.S. flag along with effigies of Bush or America's Allies. Its what people do when they get upset at their present situation in life... they blame. They don't know why their economy is in the pits, they don't know why they don't have great international influence... so they start blaming and accusing those that do. Its been the way of life since society's beginning. Of course though, this means that the U.S. gets a whole lot of fingers pointed at it. Not trying to sound pompous, but people around the world recognize the states for its power, and that's why we get crap handed to us by dozens of countries every day. It's for that reason that I'm not even considering leaving Japan... you can't just give in people's crazy threats and demands.

This nuclear test by North Korea is no more then their way of starting up trouble with their neighbors. Basically, gorillas seeing who can beat their chest harder. I also don't have a doubt in my mind that North Korea will, with their now even more inflated ego, be making demands upon Japan/U.S.A. with the backing of their new toy. When North Korea finds themselves without imports and exports to and from Japan and the U.S.A., they are going to hurt. That will probably be a major hit in their international pocketbook. But why should we (and "we" for me is both Japan and America) sit their and calmly do business with those that defy every treaty and anti-nuclear association that we put in front of them?

The detonating of the nuke is something, but the interesting part is going to be how North Korea reacts to new economic sanctions against them, as well as their neighboring countries increasing their defenses. If its anything like last time, they'll declare it all an aggressive act of war against them that is punishable by nuclear death. Doubt me? That's exactly what they said when a few measly economic sanctions were put against them after they shot a bunch of missiles at Japan and Hawaii a few months back (check early post). Unless they can build up their military and weapon stocks with their neighbors giving them full support and ignoring their defenses... North Korea will never be happy, regardless if their government says they are happy or not.

Picture by Mainichinews. South Koreans Protest the nuclear test.

Pink Ninja Strikes!

2006-10-01T08:50:00.000-05:00

So I got the chance to hand out my "Omiyage" or souvenirs to my host family. I'm way past due on giving them out, I realize I should have taken care of it the night I moved in... but had a small complication.

I had brought with me about 2 dozen bandanas with the classic Texas embroidery design on them. I figured since Japanese people use hankerchiefs all the time, along with them loving cowboys and this being an historical cowboy item... that it would be a great present. But what I didn't know is that the same exact print of bandana was sold it just about every clothing shop in this country that hankerchiefs can be found in. Go figure, I really should have guessed when they have more people here that wear cowboy boots then in Texas. So in efforts of not seeming overly cheap and uncreative by giving them heavily mass produced items as a gift the first day here... I waited 2 weeks when they already know I'm overly cheap and uncreative and presented the gifts tonight.

In that 2 week time though I learned something about the Japanese culture. They love free crap. Whatever it is, if you give it to them, they'll love you for it. This was no exception. They jumped on them faster then I could react. And I have to give a shout out for Obaachan in demanding the best colors for herself. If you know what you want, go for it right? Unfortunately this also had a kick-back effect with Nami, the host family sister who I presented two nicely colored bandanas that matched her clothing... as her's were quickly nabbed by other family members.

After I let everyone pick/demand a few colored bandanas that they wanted, I was left with a pretty slim selection of bright pink ones that no one wanted.

Whats a guy gonna do with a bundle of pink bandanas? If you guessed dress up in stupid disguises and start demeaning the history of the country your in... then you guessed right cause that's exactly what I did.

With that, I give you the birth of the Pink Ninja.

Daijoubu!

Instead of getting offended, which probably was well within their rights at the time, they instead joined in with "kowai" (scary). I even had the chance to jump out and scare Obaachan who had stepped out of the house in the time that I crafted my clever disguise.

Bearing my now legendary Chicken Ramen (world famous instant ramen~) emblem on the for head, no one knows quite what to think of the Pink Ninja. Could he be serving up a nice cup of noodles, or a can of whoop ass? Should you be afraid of him because of his way of the forbidden martial arts, or scared of him for his way of the San Francisco parade marcher. No one knows, and that's what adds to the mystery of the Pink Ninja.

Unfortunately for me though, I didn't know the repercussions of my actions as the Pink Ninja. It seems that now that I have equipped myself with an available costume, I'm now obligated to dress up like this for some costume march coming up next month. I have to actually go outside, in the day, and walk through the street.... dressed up as a pink ninja. My life just seriously took a turn for worse.

The Family

2006-09-23T19:36:00.000-05:00

My new family here in Japan is something else to say the least. I have to say... probably a mix between the Brady bunch and the Partridge family, and Japanese of course. They are a musical family... which is alot more awkward experiencing then saying. They continuously try to get me to sing English songs to see if they know the words (I don't know the words to any songs really so I sang the ABC's when they forced me to sing something), and almost all of them is a professional at some aspect of music.

Okaasan -

Okaasan (mother) is probably my main communication point into the family... not to say the best. She tries to speak English half the time but usually just messes a sentence up so bad that I would have had alot better chance to understand it if she used Japanese. At other times she just speaks Japanese so fast that there's no way in hell I could understand and gives me this blank stare when I don't answer. I do give her credit for trying though, and she does talk alot to me without ever seeming to get too frustrated, so it all works out in the end.

Okaasan is also a expert piano player and teachers singing lessons. I've entered into some unwritten contract where I get to learn to play the piano a bit in exchange for English lessons, but the way that others acted as if I just made the worse decision of my life, I'm beginning to wonder if it was a good move or not.

At times she gets a bit fanatical. And its hard to fully understand her approach. Out of the blue, I got talk the other day about never bringing girls to my room. I said I understood, an answer that I've come to favor into in the past weeks as a way to express that I understand the Japanese (wakarimashita).　But then she went off on some speel as if I said I didn't understand at all and begin telling me again, this time slower. Again, I say I understand. Then she starts over like a broken record, this time adding in hand gestures and demonstrating as if I was an idiot. "Wakarimashita." She continued going over these details of never having a girl in my room over and over again until I could do nothing but put my head on the table and sigh. What made it worse is Obaachan (grandma) was sitting at the table and laughing at me the whole time.

As I said though, she does try, and is always accommodating. Great person all around, though I wish the same thing upon her as I do my real mother, to stop worrying all the time. Its a universal bad habit I guess.

Otousan -

Otousan (father) is a great guy. He's a hard worker, commuting to Kyoto everyday (about hour long train ride one way), so I don't get to see him as much as the others. If he didn't have to work so much and have a family to worry about, I bet we could be best friends because we have so much in common. He's an avid video game player which really shocked me, with a big interest in flight simulators (its kind of weird to watch a Japanese guy play a game where he's an American fighter pilot shooting down Japanese planes). He also talks to me about alot of different anime and its not uncommon for me to walk in a room to find him watching some cartoon or something. As I've seen to notice with a few Japanese guys, he has a gun obsession too. I guess its the whole desire the things you can't have kinda situation as in Japan, its illegal to own a gun. To get around this, he's bought high powered plastic pellet pistols. These things are designed like a real gun, but only launch plastic BB's and junk. The thing that got me thinking "why..." is when he bought a laser sight for one of his guns. Now this sight is designed for a real gun, and cost a ton of money. I have pointless collections too, but I just can't understand a laser sight for a BB pistol.

Otousan is also a pro guitar player. He specializes in old rock for the most part and has said he would teach me if I want. If I get the time I might take him up on it because I have a guitar but don't know how to play. Along with his guitar skills though he also plays a wicked banjo. And he's really good too... good enough to play the "Dueling Banjos" song and all. I never would have guessed in my life that I would meet a Banjo playing Japanese guy some day.

Obaachan　-

Obaachan (granny) is quite a character. I can't really understand her Japanese at all, but I can usually get the idea of what she's trying to say cause she's always laughing at me. Giving me some god awful food or something seems to be her favorite hobby as it cracks her up every time.

Obaachan was an unexpected family member in the house when I moved in. She lives next door, but basically does everything but sleep in the house I'm living in. She's nice though and quite a character at times. She's also the families self proclaimed alcoholic. Every night she's cracking open a few Asahi's with dinner.

As if the family wasn't already bursting with creative talents... Obaachan gives lessons on traditional Japanese kimono making. The tatami room (I don't know exactly what the room is called, but its the traditional room that seems to be in every Japanese house that uses tatami mats and has a shrine) also features her latest creations on mannequins.

Kazuki -

Kazuki is the little brother of the family. I honestly don't know what to make of the kid sometimes. About the only English he knows is "Oh my god" and "Nice to meet you." He uses "oh my god" at the right time, though way to much... but he just can't seem to place "Nice to meet you" right. For example, I accidently spilled a drink one night and he gets a cloth to clean it up, with each pass of the cloth he mutters out "nice to meet you, nice to meet you." Kinda like a weird form of "wax on, wax off" from the Karate Kid movie.

One of his favorite things to do it seems is to get his friends and bring them to me so he can make them hold there hand up to mine. It kinda amazes them for some reason that my hand is like 3 times as big as theirs. I'm pretty sure they believe it to be because I'm a big foreigner, but I think its mainly for the fact that he's just 11 years old.

This family is quite eccentric, but they are all good people really. Their is also a daughter in the family, but I haven't met her yet because she's studying abroad. From everything I've been told, she's supposed to know good English and will translate for me when she gets back... though when Okaasan tells me that, I wonder because I'm supposed to be speaking Japanese. I honestly feel like I'm here to give English lessons to Okaasan sometimes, as well be "her American gaijin" to show off to all her friends, but I don't mind honestly. All is well that ends well right?

I'll let the pictures speak for themselves

2006-09-19T06:18:00.000-05:00

I've been extremely busy the last few days (and haven't had much time to update). I've moved across the Osaka prefecture and been dealing with getting acquainted to a new Japanese family (who are all awesome by the way). More on them later. Now I just want to throw out some stuff from my Kyoto trip. Unlike before where I gave a huge commentary on step by step events of the day, I think I'm gonna let the pictures talk for themselves this time for the most part.

Kyoto - Gion district:

Spot the turtle:

Here we (me and my friend) are eating on a platform over a 100 foot or so drop. Those are the tops of trees right behind us. I was a bit upset with the waiter cause she basically said that foreigners are stupid and don't know how to eat the noodles right...it really didn't help matters that I actually didn't know.

They have this machine that you insert the cups into after you drink out of them. It supposedly instantly sterilizes the cups with ultra-violet rays. Think of it as an anti-cooties laser.

Kyoto streets:

And of course, the Geisha again, where a trip to Kyoto would not be complete without. My friend called them over and told them I wanted a picture with them as I was trying to run away. They really don't look to pleased about it, and I was mostly busy just trying to hide the melting ice cream cone.

Up and Coming

2006-09-15T19:50:00.000-05:00

I had intentions of waking up this morning and covering a trip to Kyoto and the world famous Cup Noodle factory, but sleep seemed more fitting.

At this point I'm also only a few hours from moving to my host family's house, and I really do not know my internet status at this point.

Hopefully all will turn out well and I can make an update soon. Until then, heres an example of my Kyoto trip.

You know your in Japan when...

2006-09-12T20:31:00.000-05:00

A while back I was sent a link of someone making a list of things for "You know your in Japan when..." Here's a brief list of my own experiences so far on this issue.

You know your in Japan when...

1) Garbage trucks playing music are perfectly normal.

2) You blow $15 bucks when you ride into town and the only thing you buy is a bottle of water.

3) You look at other non-Japanese people and think, "What the hell are they doing here."

4) Your umbrella is stolen if you take your eyes off of it for more then 2 seconds.

5) 90% of the people dress in shades of black and white only.

6) Bodily contact in public places becomes negligible.

7) Your sworn enemy becomes Moped drivers who are always trying to run you over.

8) Your sweating like a pig yet the 5 men in business suits next to you are perfectly fine.

9) Cowboy boots have stiletto heels on them.

10) Toilets have more buttons then your TV remote, though they don't do the same thing.

Day #04 - To lapse into tourism

2006-09-11T17:45:00.000-05:00

Starting the Day
Day #04 started out like any other day, waking up at about the crack of dawn at about 6 AM. This isn't entirely my choice. Back in the states I would almost never wake up before 10 AM if I didn't have too. But here, everyone seems to come alive at this time or soon after, and when you live within reaching distance of the next house and your using paper doors and open windows for ventilation, you kinda hear everything. Doesn't create for the best sleeping environment past 6 AM if you know what I mean, and then you have to factor in the starting cars, barking dogs, and those annoying mo-ped scooter things that almost run me over every chance they get. Even if I somehow in all the ruckus not disturb me in my sleep, the election mobiles are a sure fire bet. These are trucks with loud speakers attached to them that drive up and down the street spamming the same 5 second "vote for me" message over and over again. Those people are lucky that the Japanese don't own guns, as in America, those guys would have probably been shot long ago for annoying the wrong person.

So I sit down for a full breakfast which usually includes a bigger variety of foods then I get for almost any meal in the states. I have to say, one of the hardest things, adaptation wise, for me to deal with is that these people eat so much. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are all a must and they are all super-hearty meals. I have gotten so used to eating only dinner or maybe a late lunch in my life, so that I can sleep in or save time, that eating 3 times a day is physically difficult. Granted I may be eating alot, and I'm eating the healthiest foods I've ever had in my life, but keeping up with their meals takes serious effort.

Breakfast is always diligently made by my friend's mom (Staying at my friends house till I move in with my host family in a week). Honestly, I feel bad for her. She makes me 3 meals a day and does my laundry and the only payment I've really been able to give is a thank you. I checked with my friend to see if paying for the food would be alright when I leave but, based on his reaction, that would seem a little offending. So here I am lost as how to really show my thanks beyond a few words, and wondering if maybe those words are enough here. "Thank you" doesn't seem to get you very far in the states anymore but I wonder if its different here, or if maybe she's cursing me behind my back for making so much work. I hope not at least.

After breakfast, the normal routine for leaving the house takes place. Brushing the teeth, getting dressed, and doing the gaijin dance at the doorway as I try to put my boots on in a lower section of the floor, while not trying to keep my socked foot on an upper level which is designated for bare feet and socks (anyone think I was stupid when I said to keep your socks clean?). If I get the chance to take my boots off or put them on when no one is near me though, I'll hastily cheat and stand fully in the lower entryway so that I don't fall on my ass.

Transportation Sucks
Out the door and to the bus. The wonders of public transportation await me. Its bad enough that I've never been one for public transportation in my life... I never even really used the school bus when I was little. But Japan is on a entirely new level. Unfortunately, it was also rush hour. My friend and I were some of the first ones on the bus so we got to camodere a seat in the back while others have to stand. Usually, at least with the few times that I've ridden public transportation in my life, I'de be willing to give up my spot for a woman. But this is another thing that doesn't seem to always fly in Japan. Why? I'm not sure to be honest, but I think the fact that we are usually packing into these vehicles like sardines enters into it, and that trying to have someone get up while maneuvering another person into the seat is likely to disturb at least a dozen other people. To top this off, I'm not entirely sure about how to offer a seat in Japanese.

Off the bus and to the train station. My pocket is already a few hundred yen lighter from the bus ride, and the trains are just as bad. Whenever I go anywhere, I'm bound to spend at least $10 worth of yen on transportation alone. That's just how life is in Japan. So we are standing waiting for the train and my friend gives me an option. He said that we can take the next train, or wait a minute for another train that will be ever more crowded and will be a good experience for me. I opt for the less crowded one. So the train comes up and people pour out and then new people take their place. I walk up to the door and see that the entire area packed with people shoulder to shoulder. I can still remember the look of distress on the peoples' faces as they look and see some huge gaijin getting ready to jump into the door, which already had a ton of people standing at it. Somehow, possibly out of mortal fear, they make room for me as the door barely squeezes shut behind me. I manage to ask my friend in the midst of the crowd why we took the crowded train after all. His response was that this wasn't the crowded train... if you can't feel the pain of being smothered by a huge crowd, then your not crowded at all. I feel sorry for these people sometimes.

The train ride takes about an hour or so I guess. Not sure as all I can remember is my feet hurting from standing unmoving for so long. That and the sweat pouring down by back. For some reason I sweat a ton on the trains even though they are like the only air conditioned spot in Japan I've been to so far. It's like a cruel act of god to make me start sweating endlessly as soon as I get almost intimently close with a few dozen strangers. Off that train and onto a JR line (a different line of trains), my yen going away with every stop so I can board a new train. I am somewhat comforted by the fact that I have a basic understanding of how the ticket system works in the stations now. You basically by a ticket for a distance, not a location. There's a map that tells you how far and the price of the locations your going to, so you then basically buy a ticket with a certain value on it. Lets say I was going to Umeda. I would buy a ticket worth 260 yen and then walk through the electronic gate. You enter your ticket (which is part magnetic) into the gate and the gate designates a starting point for the ticket. Then you can basically go up to 260 yen in distance from that point. When you get to your destination, you have to enter your ticket into another gate as it scans it to make sure you did not go further then you paid for.

Finally off the trains, we start walking through the streets to our destination. Here I was kinda confronted with one of the differences of Japan and America due to spacing. What I thought of as some back alley meant for pedestrians was actually a full blown road. Even more so, my friend had internet maps guiding us through them, showing even more the importance of these roads. But walking down them was one of the more pleasurable sights I've had the chance to see in Japan so far. These are the kinda things that I wanted to visit, not so much the huge tourist destinations.

Making fun of the Gaijin
After a few minutes of walking down streets like this we finally arrive at our first destination for the day; a tour of the largest business market in Japan. Here agricultural products are bought and sold and auctioned off throughout the day for all the local stores to stock up with. Our tour guide was a little Japanese lady that had some cross-eye problem going on for her. It was hard to communicate with her because I basically use alot of body language to know what's going on at this point of my Japanese language experience... and when I can never tell if she's looking at me, well that's all shot. She also continuously talked to me as if I was able to speak Japanese for life. I'm still not sure if she comprehended the fact that I really don't know how to speak it much.

Our guide first took us around the fish market real quick just to blow off some time because we where early and trying to waste time till our tour group caught up with us. We then headed over to the fruit depot where a live auction was behind held. Here my friend told me that he couldn't understand any of the Japanese these guys use, and I could only symphysize with him because its exactly the same with me and English auctioneers.

At this point we where met up with by some official in the fruit section of the market. He was kind of a weird man in many ways. He basically talked about how superior Japanese fruits are in the world and how the Americans only send the inferior product after consuming the good (honestly I don't see anything too wrong with this). I really didn't have the heart to attempt to argue with him that without those American fruits or whatnot, then Japan would probably have to do heavily without because it is so extremely low in agricultural production. This guy would also pat my stomach in efforts to demonstrate how the American diet is bad. Honestly I can't argue. He spoke a little English also, but only when he wanted to show people that he could speak English. The English he knew was minimal, but when he said something it did sound good. Still, it seemed a bit as if he was trying to show off as he would be talking about some orange or something then turn to me and in the same breath ask "How old are you?" He would then kind of stare at me when I answered 21 in English and didn't understand till I said it in Japanese.

We where soon joined by the tour group, and it was no different then most Japanese tour groups, almost nothing but staunchly bored housewives. This group was a little unique though as it was a PTA group, one of the most feared organizations around Japan from my experience, but I won't get into that now. I had a good chuckle when I noticed one of the ladies shirts was layered with English obscenities and the fact that she probably had no idea what it said. I wanted a picture of it, but ya gotta kinda be a little careful of when and how you take a picture of someone in Japan cause alot of people are paranoid about that, and the opportunity never arose. Along with the group, we then traveled back to the fish section of the market where we got live demonstrations of how to cut fish. This honestly was the biggest fish I've ever seen in my life, and they took knives that were as big as some swords to cut the thing open with.

After the display of fish gutting, everyone gathered around and started eating it, raw. There is just something a little disturbing about eating something that you saw whole a second ago. I seemed to become a crowd favorite as they kept offering me a piece of the freshest sushi in the world and I kept declining over and over. These antics persisted as we continued through the fish market area and every booth we came to people made sure to try to get me to eat something. At one point I had a handful of what I like to call fish flakes. As I went to eat it, alot of the Japanese people watched me for a reaction, and they weren't disappointed as my face contorted up. They all took much pleasure from my suffering and burst out laughing after all I could get out was an "o-i-shii" (Delicious) after nearly choking to death. This stuff was just plain bad. It was like...if you left a fish out to get a sun burn and its skin peeled off like a humans...and then you harvested those skin peels and put them in a bag for Japanese people to eat. This routine of feeding me bad stuff and watching my reaction persisted through the entire fish market.

The Scarey Foreigner and the Castle
After we had thoroughly investigated the market section of Osaka, we went out looking for more stuff to do as it was only about noon. We decided to play up as a tourist, because its required at least once when visiting another country, and visit Osaka-Jo. Osaka-Jo is a castle in Osaka city that has a huge public park running around it. Walking up to the castle is a bit of a hike as its pretty elevated in the middle of its moat. Once at the top of the hill and at the castle, we decided to crash on the park benches for a while. My friend didn't have much sleep the night before and wanted to close his eyes for a few. I occupied another bench next to a man with a trick parrot type bird. This bird would do bonzai cheers and swing from ropes for people and all that jazz. This bench was also where I snapped this shot.

My friend asleep a few benches down, I decided to sleep for a few myself. I pulled my hat down over my eyes, stuck my legs out and crossed them and slept hunched on the park bench. It was a pretty good sleep, only interrupted by that bird yelling "bonzai" occasionally. I was eventually woken up though by footsteps stopping in front of me and some Japanese guy saying "Kowai" (scary). Now, since the bird wasn't particularly disturbing in any way, I had to conclude he was talking about me, but as I started to get up the footsteps took off.

All was well though as my friend woke up too and we went off into the castle. The inside was typical museum fashion. Pictures with posters nearby giving commentary. The coolest part I thought was they had little holo-projectors. I don't mean just wall projectors where you put an image against a wall or something, but projectors that were creating an image in mid air. I have no clue how they did it, I didn't even know those things exist, but they were awesome. They were like those holo-games in Star Wars: A New Hope. Anyways, these little images acted out the life and events of Hideyoshi as he came to power and ruled over Japan. Pretty cool except I didn't know what they were saying the whole time.

Once at the very top of the castle, you get what is the best view of Japan I have yet seen. Industrial skyline backed with mountains stretches on all sides (no mountains on ocean side actually.)

Cowboy boots are casual wear in Asia...
The ferris wheel in that picture is, I believe, the destination of our next stop, Umeda. Umeda is, if I'm not mistake, one of the major youth areas for the area. We decided to hit up an arcade in one of the malls (which the ferris wheel was on top of I think, or near), but first had to pass through a mob of schoolgirls and boys all sitting on the hand rails leading into the place. Most of them where doing what Japanese kids do best and all the time... sending messages on a cell phone. Its an endless activity here, and I honestly feel less then human for not owning a cell phone yet.

Walking through the mall you pick up on some of the youthful fashions in the area. Alot of Japanese kids tend to like to dress as if they are setting the trends. Strangely enough, in alot of places they are setting the trends. But some of these things I just can not understand. I had to laugh when I saw a girl in a skirt with cowboy boots and socks up to her knees. It was horribly mismatched, but sadly one of the more normal looking outfits. I should have asked her though how she manages to put those on without falling over like I do with my (work) boots.

Japanese arcades are addicting, and a huge money sink. For that reason I won't be going to them much but they are fun when you do. They have some of the strangest games in the world, by far, and you can play them for only $2 a try usually. I played one game that was something I would have never imagined. It was a game where you used a keyboard, and basically you had to type the names of monsters attacking you really fast. Each letter of the name you got right was like a gun shot, and you had to shoot the monster dead before he got to you. Simply put, I ruled at this game. The only problem I had was the names were random Japanese words and stuff. So I was having to type out something like "Miyoumashitakunai" to kill a monster. It was interesting to say the least, the characters in the game ran around with keyboards hanging from their neck. Quite the experience. I played one other game where you had to ride a fake horse in a horse race. Basically you made the horse go pulling its head back and then pushing it down. On the last sprint of the race, you basically have to go crazy fast with bashing this horses head up and down, so anyone that walked in while I was playing would see some huge gaijin on top of a fake horse bashing its head back and forth as fast as I could. I pity them really.

BUBBLEMAN!
Back to the trains though to start our trip home I come across one of the billion vending machines Japan has. I decide to get something new, interesting, and showing the culture of Japan. What I decided on was Bubbleman.

Bubbleman is by far the best drink I've ever had in my life. A taste close to carbonated Diamontap, it leaves the drinker only wanting more. On the back of the can it shows Bubbleman's (the character, not the drink) inventory. The "bubbleflash" is the antenna like object that is coming out of his head. I do not know exactly what bubbleflash is, nor do I really want to know. As long as it keeps my drink good I'm happy. After that comes the "Bubble Met." Bubble Met can be one of two things. It is either a reference to his bubble-shaped helmet, or his head worn object is so pitiful that it doesn't qualify to be a full helmet and just earns the "met" name. The last object in Bubbleman's inventory is his "Bubble Suit." Bubble suit is obviously called so cause everything about his is round and bubble like, as if he was some Doraemon reject or something. If you don't know what Doraemon is, don't worry about it.

Chikan Chuui
So we begin our ride back home from Umeda. No matter how happy or perky you are, the minute you get on any form of public transportation in Japan and are surrounded by tired and depressed people coming out of their 8 to 6 jobs (with 3 hours commute), you will be affected by them and also instantly become tired and depressed. I made it off the trains and just barely made it to the bus. Here, I was instantly greeted with familiar faces of despair as they were packed to the door and saw a gaijin diving in. This bus was packed, big time, and at this time I just wanted to get off my feet and get a shower because once again the sweat associated with public transportation had started.

It was at this time that a little mishap occurred though totally not my fault. In Japan, random molestations in these close public transportation environments happen all the time. It happens so much they have street signs warning people to beware of perverts, and several trains have instated woman only train cars to prevent this. But here I am now, standing smashed against the bus door. I'm having to reach behind the person in to my side to get any kind of a hand rail to hang on as the bus swerves around the mountain switchback roads. Standing in these vehicles isn't the easiest of matters in the world, and standing in them without a proper grip on anything to hold you steady is even worse.

With all these bad circumstances adding up... bad grip, mountain road, extremely packed bus... bad luck struck. On one particular stop, I, and the rest of the people on the bus, swayed forward. The only problem I had with this was that I accidently bumped into the schoolgirl next to me in an unfortunate manner. She turned to look at me and at that minute could have made my life hell by screaming out that I was a pervert. If that had happened everyone on that bus probably would have lynched me and I would have found out what the inside of a Japanese jail looks like. Thankfully though, whether she took it as an accident too or didn't want to say anything to the gaijin, she didn't yell out. I spent most of my time after that trying to give her more space, which kinda meant I had to practically molest the guy on the other side of me... but I was a little less afraid of him yelling at me. She was obviously disturbed by the whole situation though as she then forced her way through the crowd, again... not an easy thing to do, to sit at the front of the bus as far away from me as she could get.

Its kind of a shame that something like that is typical in Japan. I explained what happened to my friend and only thing he would say is "it happens." People are paranoid, but I guess its at the cost of a highly developed infrastructure and the modernization of the world.

Beat that Rachael Ray
All in all though, the day was great, and only dropped about $35 dollars. That part made me happier as I'm forever worried about my money situations in Japan with these train and bus fees adding up everyday. But currently I have a free house to stay in with free meals so I guess I'm pretty lucky so far. As soon as I got back, it was a long shower then bed for me. Just another typical day so far.

I'm not an artist, but...

2006-09-09T00:30:00.000-05:00

I've seen alot of things that I wish I had my camera for, but these are just a few I've managed to take so far. I'll have more and better later.

My temporary backyard:

Nippon electricity cabling scares me:

Power Puff Girls gone Asian, I wonder if the Japanese stole it:

I'm a huge fan of the old-school, but this thing has to be almost as old as I am:

The day without a night

2006-09-07T21:29:00.000-05:00

You ever get that feeling that your doing something your not supposed to, and yet you keep on pushing yourself further and further into it? Well I just did that for about 26 hours strait.

I somehow survived the planes, though I must say they where some of the worse experiences of my life. I vow to myself to never get in another small plane. They just seem to expendable... the 747 on the other hand was alot nicer, though I honestly thought the flight would never end. When it took me only 3 hours to fly across the U.S.A., and I was looking down on the Great Lakes, I thought to myself that the world must be alot smaller then I thought. But when I was on my 12th hour of my flight towards Japan, going along the Russian coastline, I was seriously wondering why people travel at all to put themselves through this misery.

But now I'm in Japan finally, but honestly it still hasn't really hit me fully yet. I think its starting to seep in though, specially when I walked outside and saw a mountain. The dozen Pachinko buildings on my ride to the house I'm staying at was another clue too.

I hate Houston because I always felt it was so cluttered and nasty with all the signs everywhere. Japan has about 10 times as many signs, but for some reason it really doesn't look bad. I think maybe because there's so much more room vertically, or the layout is so much more organized, I can't really tell. But walking from station to station, I'm kinda reminded of the inside of a nice decorative mall. The style they have everywhere is very subtle with the exception of the showy street business sections. Even the places that aren't highly developed with skyscraper apartments are great in their own way. I have a hard time describing this really... The best I can come up with is a clean industrial grunge. I saw a little alley that I wanted to take a picture of that would have shown my words perfectly, but I didn't really want to stop in the middle of a train station and pull out a camera. Something about a little too touristy. But a low built wooden building with a loan street-light down an old road, traveled by only one person with an umbrella as it rained... it was a great sight.

Japan is definitely different, specially in the suburbia area. It reminds me of alot of the 1950's Americana you see on TV... like Leave it to Beaver or whatever that show is. Except you know, there's Japanese people everywhere and I can't read the street signs. Everything is so active here too. Just listening to the sounds as I slept. The house is opened up alot so I could hear families cooking breakfast, people heading to work, dogs barking, delivery drivers going door to door. I've really never gotten that effect in the U.S.A. where everything is alot more spread apart.

I will admit though its already hard being here. Not knowing enough of anything to get around and having to rely 100% on other people to get around and do anything. Its a bit testing on the nerves. But I'm glad to be here... mainly because I am so glad to be off of that plane where I went for 24 hours without ever seeing the night because we where going faster then it.

I'll try to get some pictures later, but have to get going as of now. I just feel impolite sitting on the internet the whole time.

I'll leave y'all with a few noted commentary on my opinions of Japan and flying:

*Yelling there's snakes on a plane doesn't get a good response from a plane full of Japanese people.

*A fun game to play when on a flight all the way across the world is called the "Never use the restroom the entire flight" game.

*Japanese girls are the smartest people on Earth as they all have hand-held Nintendo games on flights.

*Jet lag and getting accustomed to the new time zones isn't an issue when you don't sleep for 3 days before getting to your destination.

*A good excuse to not telling Japanese people my weight when they inquire is that I don't know metric.

*Japanese people love neon lights.

*Japanese school girls do exist.

*Japanese tubs can be lethal when they are 4 feet lower then the shower area next to them. Don't fall.

*A good way to not have people like you is to carry 2 suitcases and 2 bags onto a extremely crowded train and/or bus.

*Japan makes you sweat alot.

*The only thing that beats the number of McDonalds in Japan is Pachinko joints.

*Pachinko is expensive.

*When you loose all your money playing Pachinko, they kick you out.

*They will not give you train money if you loose it playing Pachinko.

*Gaijin good luck powers work as the royal family had a son like I said they would.

*Japanese toilets are indeed the coolest things in the world.

A time of departure

2006-09-05T23:56:00.000-05:00

So the time I've been preparing for, for the past several years, has finally come. In three and a half hours, I'll have to wake up (if I ever get to sleep that is) and head towards the airport to board an early flight. With the exception of a layover in Detroit, I'll be on my way to Japan for the first time to start my year of study and cultural immersion.

Total travel time: approximately 26 hours.

The cold hard fact that I'm going somewhere that will force me to forsake many of the things I take for granted in my life; family, friends, pets, basic communication skills.... its all finally starting to hit me. And I honestly can't think of a worse time then four hours before I leave.

The simple fact of it all is that I do not know what I'm getting into. It is for that reason that I've been planning this trip... so that I can learn about Japan and the language. But riding on my mind the whole time is that I'm taking a huge step forward in this goal. Going all the way across the world for a year is not what I would call appropriate baby steps when the most international experience I've had in my life before this point was a day trip into a Mexican border town.

Even more unnerving is that people continuously ask me why I'm studying Japan. Everyone else being asked this question, that I've witnessed, seems to have a well thought-out answer that goes along with their well thought-out plans. Me on the other hand....I'm armed with nothing more then an interest for the culture along with the desire to see the world. Is that enough to sustain me for the next year of my life? I have no clue honestly. For all I know I could hate Japan (don't get me wrong, I don't expect that at all though).

All in all though, I'm just venting some fears. I have no strong ties with my destination, and knowing that does nothing but stir more apprehension within me. My general shyness and how I avoid most confrontation in life also amplifies these fears. I like to think myself as quaint in numerous of ways, generally keeping to myself in most times. I have a select group of friends, and it usually takes me time to warm up to new people. Now to be thrown into the living environment of new families and new cultures... I have no choice but to become more socially open and to not only befriend them, but to trust them utterly in countless aspects of everyday life as I adjust to the culture. And that scares the hell outa me.

But whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger... I hope? As long as there are no snakes on the plane, I think I'll manage. I should be able to post again within the next 2 days if all things go well. If things go worse then expected, you can probably either find me lost in Kansai airport, lost in the Detroit Airport, swimming with the fishes in the Pacific ocean, or cowering in the restroom cause I chickened out on this trip. In any circumstance, send help?

Real quick though before I crash for a few hours. I want to give a shout out to the people that have made this opportunity available to me. Granted I'm plagued by doubts currently, but this is still my life dream and I wouldn't have gotten this far without help from numerous people.

First I want to give props to Japan for being... Japan. I'll be bringing the country a souvenir. I'll use my gaijin super-lucky-powers or whatnot to make sure that the new baby in the royal family (expected today) will be male so that a successful heir will finally come around. Personally I got no preference on a male or female heir, but it seems that it would make countless people happy for a boy to be born so that there will be a new emperor, so I'll go for that one.

Foremost though, I want to thank my family for pushing me along and giving me the support for the trip in every way possible. Following them, I also want to express my gratitude to my Japanese teacher and tutors. These people have spent hours dealing with me and my stubborn ways. That's no simple task by any means.

You all know who you are, and know your work has not gone unappreciated.

Later guys, I'm going to Japan.

Gaijin on a Plane!

2006-08-29T22:36:00.000-05:00

So here I am...I'm traveling all the way across the world into a land completely foreign to me with (to my standards) only a very loose grasp of the basics of the language, I'm going to be force fed food that consist of animals I've never even seen and I have a hunch that 9 times out of 10 I'll gag on it, I'm going to be thrown into an extremely high population area when I've only known cow-towns my entire life, I'm going to get helplessly lost in a complex subway system and probably have to call my embassy to have someone assist me home, and most of all I'm going to be put into the care of a host family that, depending on their standards, can potentially make my life a servitude to them for the next year.

All this will be thrown at me in the next 2 weeks of my life and yet none of it really worries me at all. Want to know why? Because I'm too preoccupied with being scared of the damn flight over.

So I must admit, I'm not a very keen person when it comes to flying, or heights for that matter. The last time I flew I was about 4 years old and don't remember anything except crying that my mother was going to be left behind in a layover when she went to the terminal to get some peanuts or something. Since then my knowledge about planes has been the ever informational and reliable mass media. The only time I've really heard anything about planes (with the exception of Tom Hanks getting locked away in an airport for ages in "The Terminal") has been when they crash or blow up. So needless to say, I'm a little on edge.

Things have only gotten worse on my nerves in the past couple weeks. I think it all started with when my dad practically forced me to watch a series on the Discovery channel called "Moments Before Disaster." In this particular episode, it went into detail describing the process of how a 747's fuel tank turns into an airborne bomb. Soon after that, one thing after another started a barrage on my reserves on the safeties of flying. The whole England terrorist plot thing shook up things to a height they haven't been since September 11th, making me wonder if I'm going to have to sit on my plane without my MP3 player or laptop for the whole 19 hour flight (or however long it takes the plane to crash before that).

At this point I was telling myself that at least I'll be on a smaller plane for the first part of my flight from Texas till my Michigan layover, and those planes are usually safer, right? Well some act of god just decided to blow those beliefs out of the water as there was a plane crash in Kentucky that killed 49 people just the other day. Whenever I mention things like this to people though, I always get the same response. "Plane crashes are rare" and "It almost never happens." Well I'm sorry to break it to you people. As your going down and staring death in the eyes, telling yourself that it almost never happens isn't a very effective.

As if I wasn't scared enough of the planes at this point by all these events the mother of them all has to hit me... the release of "Snakes on a Plane." I hate snakes more then I do planes I must admit, but the thought of having to deal with both at the same time is something I could have lived without. I honestly don't know how to handle that situation, even after watching the movie. I don't have the kick boxing skills or the hairspray/lighter combo that was used to win the day in the movie, so does that mean I'm just screwed in this situation? Worst of all, I'm pretty sure Samuel L. won't be found in the middle of a flight going to Japan. I mean, honestly, those people where done for if they didn't have Mr. Jackson fighting on their side, and I'm a poor imitation if the need arises. And I just can't imagine any of the Japanese business men returning home would have the....fortitude to step up and take his place.

Honestly...the movie would have turned out completely different if the cast looked a little something like this.

Good Luck in your new year Texas Aggies

2006-08-28T01:11:00.000-05:00

Adams-sensei told me that he'll be forcing a few of you unfortunates to view my editorial during the A&M Japanese language lab today (unless he forgets). Whether y'all see the page today or are steered here later, visitors are welcome.

Bust out those flashcards and get practicin' your kanji, you got a new semester ahead of you. Take it easy and best of luck to y'all.

Empty Casings

2006-08-08T10:15:00.000-05:00

Pic by - Adam Gonzales

It was yet another perfect Texas day as I walked through my campus, the crystal clear sky only broken by the interruption of multi-story buildings. It almost disheartens me to think of how I have grown so accustomed to being surrounded by buildings of (in my opinion) near skyscraper proportions. A few years ago I would have marveled at anything bigger then a two story house as there wasn't much else then that in the small Texas cow-town I come from.

This day would not have been eventful at all in my life if it wasn't for one minor detail. As I passed under the shade of a tree, walking along the sidewalk, I noticed a couple discarded bullet casings laying on the sidewalk. The thing of interest that made me remember this day wasn't the fact that I found casings on the ground, but the fact that I continued walking uninterrupted past them without really giving them a care in the world.

In retrospect of this action, I started thinking of how this occurrence isn't something that can occur anywhere in the world. I've grown up with guns as many Americans have. I have friends that go out and hunt regularly and keep full gun closets. Personally I've never owned anything bigger then a BB gun, but I've passed by people in my apartment complex who where out handling rifles on their porch... and it didn't even occur to me at the time that what they were doing could terrorize or been seen negatively by others.

The reason I started pondering the subject of acceptance of firearms worldwide is mostly because I am moving to Japan soon. In Japan, firearms are illegal, even to the point that many of the police don't event carry them. I was reading a national Japanese news source and found it weird that for them, it was worth mentioning when cops had to fire a shot "at" a man wielding a knife. Something of that caliber might make the local news at most for much of America.

I can not help but wonder how someone would respond in Japan if they came across empty casings laying on the street. Would they pick them up as souvenirs? Alert the authorities? Or kick them idly and walk on without a care in the world much like I did?

I'm not even in Japan yet and I think my own mind is driving culture shock onto me with topics like this.

A small tribute is the best I can do.

2006-07-22T03:36:00.000-05:00

This doesn't have anything to do with Japan. Sorry to stray away from topic. But this is something that kinda hit close to home for me and I felt like expressing my opinion on the matter in some way. Unfortunately, my writing is the only way I'm good at expressing myself.

This post deals with the apartment explosions that happened a few days ago in a small Texas town. The media has tried to portray the persons involved as potential terrorist, anarchist, and disturbed individuals. Hear, for a change, the opinions of someone a little more experienced to judge one of these individuals than the reporters trying to grope for a story.

The background story on what happened can be found here.

I'm speaking as someone that has known Matt since 2nd grade and had classes with him for 2-3 hours per day all throughout highschool. He was a quiet but smart kid, even if some thought not because he never really applied himself to things that did not interest him at school.

When he found something he liked, he would dedicate himself to it with a true passion. I've witnessed him go from sluggish and uninterested to excited and intense when he touched upon a subject he loved... and no one could hold back his personal genius from touching the topic. He wasn't very interested in passive things that he did not see a significant result with, and always was one to explore the things for himself instead of just listening to what it would do.

He had a special interest in explosives and firearms, as many guys do at the age. The only thing is he was a little more active in his interest. I have no doubt he enjoyed just seeing what he could accomplish with them and knowing that he had the knowledge and ability for them. If it wasn't for this accident, I bet he could have truly been a great pyrotechnician someday or something of the sorts.

I'm not condoning what Matt did, but I just want to clear up any question on his intent. Matt was not a violent person and there really isn't a doubt in my mind that he did not mean any harm to anybody or anything. I'm sure the most he would have done with any of his materials was take them out to some pasture or somewhere and see what he could do with them. They where basically his toys, though dangerous as they were. He had no more intent with his actions then someone with a bottlerocket aimed at an object in a junk heap.

Matt was a good kid, though a bit misguided at times and had made a few wrong decisions. I find it important to see humor in life and death, and I must say the one thing about all this that'll stick in my mind, as well as my friends, is that when we first heard the report about what happened, all we could think of is "Damn, that sounds just like something Matt would do."

Rest in Peace, Matt. The one true regret I have about this is that I can't tell you of all the stir you made after the fact... with the FBI, news reporters, bomb squads blowing up the apartment complex, helicopters going crazy, all this fuss over actions that you know to be innocent of malice . You would have truly loved it, and thought it an extremely befitting end.

Top 10 most important things I've learned about Japan so far.

2006-07-09T14:34:00.000-05:00

10) Fig leaves, and only fig leaves, are appropriate attire for males. (Yatta!)

9) Yakuza are nice if they are letting you catch their gold fish.

8) Foreigners stink.

7) They have the most advanced toilets in the world but yet every gaijin ends up getting stuck with one of the "squatters" (And doing something horribly wrong).

6) Unfortunately... Ninja and Samurai really don't walk the streets. But 9 times out of 10 I'de be asked if I know any cowboys since I'm from Texas.

5) Its ok to maim people in off-the-wall game shows because, hey...its just TV right?

4) If a Japanese person refuses to tell you what is in the food you are eating... don't pry the matter.

3) Japanese people like to make themselves suffer for the purpose of feeling stronger then other people that don't suffer. 15 hour work shift anybody?

2) Trains and busses have scents in them that drive Japanese men to grope anybody of the female gender in the area.

1) Japan is seriously screwed up.

Fig Leaves? Video hosted by Google and picture from Yatta DVD cover.

The idiocy of politics

2006-07-07T00:00:00.000-05:00

I'm not a political person. I'll try not to bring it up much either as I feel it might distance some readers away from this editorial. But some things just blow my mind. Here is a little more on the missile launch situation between Japan and North Korea.

"Japan is translating its criticism against us into action," Song (North Korean leader) told a group of Japanese reporters in the North Korean capital on Friday. "This may force us to take stronger physical actions."
Source: Mainichi News

Why....in the world... do you bitch and moan when a country imposes economic sanctions against you when you launch missiles in their direction; consequently breaking your previous treaties, and disturbing world-wide politics? Simply put, you tick someone off a whole lot, don't expect them to be your best friend. North Korea is now in the stages of threatening Japan "physically" (which in my interpretations means possibility of war) over the repercussions of their own actions.

Japan has halted ferry transport from Korea to Japan, and is currently in discussions to decide how many economic restrictions they will now place on North Korea until an agreement is made on the missile launch situation. The problem with this is that North Korea is not fairing so well economically at the current time. These restrictions might keep many innocent people from being fed and receiving the support they need to live. But Japan's reasonings behind this seem to be...why feed and support the people quickly showing themselves as your enemy?

Maybe if North Korea quit funding extensive military upgrades and took care of their own first, they wouldn't be so bad off?

Isn't it Ironic...

2006-07-05T15:29:00.000-05:00

So yesterday Japan had a little scare. Against all protest and request from Japan, U.S.A., and the United Nations, North Korea decided to test launch a bunch of missiles by firing them towards Japan where they landed in the Sea of Japan.

With North Korea's up and coming nuclear program, and the fact that some of these missiles are of the new type that can even reach the Americas, this has become a major international issue. North Korea reporters even announced that if any actions where taken against them by the United States, that they would bring an "annhilating nuclear" attack against them.

In my mind, any military action that Japan takes against these missiles or against North Korea because of this matter will also be seen as an action from the United States... as the two countries' militaries are highly integrated (if you can count Japan's Special Defense Force as a military at all). That, and North Korea would love any excuse to gripe out the states.

Why is North Korea doing this? Frankly I think they are just pumping their ego. North Korea has been giving Japan political hell endlessly lately, as well as China. Coming to mind are the island territories that are being fought over between Japan and Korea, and Japan and China. The name of the game now is political power and with the ever increasing economies of China and the Koreas' as well as Japan still hanging in an economic slump, they are making their moves now.

And, in my opinion, I think there is a jealousy factor towards Japan making these other guys act like complete jerks. I have yet to find citable proof of this though, so for now just call it a hunh, k?

After watching these matters play out over the last couple months, and with hearing how North Korea is willing to take up Nuclear War... one question alone stays on my mind.

If North Korea took nuclear action against Japan, should I worry about them sticking it to Osaka as a major economic center (and where I'll be staying) or should I hope they go for the whole irony effect and place my bets on them hitting Hiroshima again.

Picture from Mainichi News: Outdoor TV alerts Japan of missile launches.

Need a little testing

2006-07-05T09:09:00.000-05:00

Still working on bits of the page. If you see abnormal text layout on the page and all, do me a favor and tell me your screen resolution and how its messing up. Thanks~

I wonder who exactly is in over their head.

2006-07-04T21:45:00.000-05:00

They really don't know what they have done to themselves here have they? This is it though, official acceptance to Kwansei Gakuin Daigaku in Osaka. I'll be leaving in early September for the trip and this editorial shall greatly expand at that point. Up until that point I'll post a few thoughts on the most important things I've learned before going to Japan.

In other words though.... it begins!